Adolescence:
Now is the time: harvest the insecurity you sowed in your child’s earlier years
Using Developmental Stages to Your AdvantageAdolescence is a difficult time for all children as they are on the cusp of growing up, dealing with huge changes and finding their place in the world.
Use the turmoil of this stage in your child's development to firmly shape your child for life. |
It is OK to Mourn
Your child is no longer that sweet, innocent and above all unquestioning, helpless little thing it once was. Take the time to mourn this loss, for this transition is rough for you as the parent. Where once you were looked up to without a shade of doubt, your adolescent child may begin questioning your authority and choices. Following the methods on this page, the worst of this can be avoided.
Appearance and Apparel
Your child's outward appearance is a fertile arena for not only expressing your personality and style, but for grooming and pruning your child's personality, preferences and social standing.
- Identify and point out your child's sore spots, ideally in public: acne, oily hair, weight problems, protruding ears and other characteristics provide shortcuts to emotional scarring that help limit your child's confidence and bolster yours
- Eating disorders are a quiet form of rebellion against you; turn that weapon around in your favour and teach your child that you will not be blackmailed this way
- Dressing up and dressing down: clothing offers hundreds of ways to subtly or overtly humiliate your child, alienate them from their peers and undermine their sense of self worth
- If your child is self-harming, send them to a professional to get them fixed; scars are unsightly and they are sullying the body that you created
- Clothing size is an interesting tool to work with as it offers a broad spectrum of applications: you can use them to judge or denigrate your child or to provide hints by purchasing clothing that is far too small or too large
- Hairstyle, makeup and other styling aspects can be used to play out a range of power games
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Social Contact
Building on the social isolation you initiated in the child's earlier years, you can take it all a step further now:
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Pesky Puberty
This phase may also be a time of your child testing out your boundaries concerning gender roles and sexuality. It is important to strike early and hard if you see your child straying from your preordained path! If you do not want your child morphing into something you disapprove of whether or not it is your business (a pansy, whore, gender-confused "homosexual", hypersexual, metrosexual, asexual, butch, or other form of deviant), say so and draw the line now!