Blame and accusations are some of the strongest weapons in your arsenal. Cultivate your skills in this area to marshal your child's feelings of guild and inadequacy to your benefit.
Use Blame Early, Use Blame Often
As with many of the other tactics described in this manual, blame works best if used frequently throughout your child's life. These are some basic principles to consider when deploying this weapon:
It's PersonalYour little one will probably come up with excuses, trying your patience with extenuating circumstances and even serving up alternative blame receivers. In some cases, other people may even advocate for your child or offer to take the blame on their behalf. It is is trick! Lay blame squarely where it belongs: directly on the child. They must learn that your accusations are directed straight at them personally and that they are personally responsible for appeasing you. No substitutes, no excuses! |
It's UnpredictableStrike the right balance between consistency and unpredictability: your accusations must be frequent enough to keep your child vigilant against transgressions at all times, and yet unforeseeable enough to prevent them planning around your blame storms. It also helps if your child is always unsure of what might cause a tirade. Your agendas will be that much easier to push if your child is busy second-guessing their every move. A positive side effect of this type of random scheduling is that it requires little discipline from you. |
It's DirtyShame and blame are often easiest to invoke when it comes to the dirty stuff: focus on nasty bodily functions, ugly lies, below-the-belt accusations, sexual misconduct and base motives. In the light of your child's weakness or inexperience, it may initially feel like you are fighting dirty due to your position of power over them. Relax - you are doing this for their own good and they will thank you when they are older and have become more like you. You may even feel a bit dirty yourself in the process, but that is a small price to pay. |
Naming and Blaming
Take care in how you word your accusations and what you call your child in the process:
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No Holds Barred
The sky is the limit! You have complete creative freedom when it comes to things to blame your child for. You may find that you need to heed the principle of plausible deniability (see General Tactics) more as your child grows older, but apart from that, anything goes.
Hitting Where it Hurts
Blame and accusations are very versatile tools and can be used liberally across all aspects of your child's life, ranging from their appearance to their life choices such as their gender identity. You can find a host of targets here:
Hitting Where it Hurts
Blame and accusations are very versatile tools and can be used liberally across all aspects of your child's life, ranging from their appearance to their life choices such as their gender identity. You can find a host of targets here:
Direct or Deflected Barrage?
Pay attention to your child's locus of control: does he or she have a strong sense of agency, or are they prone to believing they are unwitting victims of their own lives?
The following approaches are not mutually exclusive; you can mix tactics from either column to induce extra confusion.
The following approaches are not mutually exclusive; you can mix tactics from either column to induce extra confusion.
Too IndependentIf your child appears to be too secure and have a strong sense of control and agency, unsettle them by portraying them as weak-willed followers. Baa Baa Blind Sheep Depict your child as an uncritical follower of senseless friends or fads. Peter Pan Putdown Insinuate that your child is naive and immature and will never grow up, and thus does not know better. Scapegoat Fallback Suggest that your child is following the example of some suitably failing bad example, like the family scapegoat. Crippling Comparison Allege that your child is acting exactly like somebody you know they hate. Hamstrung Harlot If your child is old enough to be seeing the opposite sex, denounce their lack of will power and persecute their partners for brainwashing them. |
Too ResignedIn contrast, if your child is lax and only too ready to sign power over to stronger people, blame them for things they legitimately have no control over. Esoteric Ephemera Use the esoteric hooey trend to attribute everything to your child's negative thoughts. Election results are in and your candidate didn't make it? Your child's miserable mood made that happen! Handy Trashcan Make your child personally responsible for your own moods and mishaps. Correctional Officer Assign your child the duty to discipline you, but only in areas where you cannot be bothered to exercise control yourself. Enlist them to watch over your diet regime or hoarding, and blame them for inevitable failure as you slip back into your old behaviours. Practice Makes Perfect Send your child on wild goose chases and force them to repeat futile exercises over and over again to fix something that is inherently unfixable. |